This is McNuts
America’s worst nightmare came true yesterday when we learned national security security advisor Lt. Gen. H.R. McMaster is leaving. Replacing him will the be the mustachioed and verbally abusive asshole John Bolton who embarrassed the country as George W. Bush’s U.N. ambassador. Now that Rex Tillerson has been replaced with Mike Pompeo, the White House has filled up its security team with warmonger blowhards. Evidently the White House thinks this will scare N. Korea into submission when it has its meeting with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un later this year. Reports of how that meeting went will soon follow.
The National Security Advisor is supposed to provide advice and oversee the National Security Council ensuring the White House gets a well rounded view from all sides and given a fair hearing, both skills Bolton sorely lacks. Bolton, who still thinks invading Iraq was a good move believes bombing is the solution to everything whether its conventional bombing in Iran or nuking North Korea. Why he was picked is testimony to a string of poor White House decisions because Bolton has never been right and is just as consistent in attacking anyone who disagrees with him.
Fear not good people, Defense Secretary James Mattis will not suffer White House fools and their childish ways.
Guess who Dowd out?
Lead criminal lawyer John Dowd resigned evidently exhausted of having his advice constantly ignored. This apparently completes the removal of anyone guilty of telling Trump something he didn’t want to hear and now he claims he’s liberated and will start running the White House like his company, which would be into the ground. He’s also considering throwing Ty Cobb out because he’s tired of hearing Mueller’s investigation is almost over, which was an attempt by Cobb to keep Donnie’s smudgy little fingers from blowing up Twitter with adolescent adages.
Dowd had advised to be less aggressive towards Mueller and also thought it was a bad idea for dotard to sit down with Mueller. That really didn’t make sense since the alternative would be to testify under oath. and still feel like he could mean-talk Mueller on Twitter.
The House of Cards Intelligence Committee finally crumbled
The Republicans on the House Intelligence committee released a summary of their forthcoming report on Russia’s election tampering which pretty much states the White House walks on water and is innocent of anything past, present and future. On a side note, the Surgeon General had to be called in to pull Devin Nunes’ head out of Donald’s derriere.
Trump Trade War Tanks Market
The White House announcement calling for $50 billion worth of tariffs on Chinese Imports sent the Dow tumbling 700 points leaving conservatives trying to blame the fall on the budget bill. In short, nobody wins, everybody loses and all the Tweets in the world can’t fix it.
Meanwhile the administration added four more countries to the “Exempt List” from having to pay the import tariffs as Australia, Argentina, Brazil and South Korea joined the European Union, Canada and Mexico. Didn’t this whole tariff thing start out as there would be no exceptions?
The Senate Slides Past a Shutdown
Early this morning the Senate passed the $1.3T omnibus spending package despite last minute theatrics by frustrated thespian Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky.
Mr. Zuckerberg goes to Washington
The House Energy and Commerce Committee will be first to question Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg about the data it gave to Cambridge Analytica that was used by the Trump campaign to target Facebook users. The Democrats wanted to hold their own hearing but Republicans voted that down and instead voted to end their Russian investigation. All this after Zuckerberg admitted a more regulated Facebook might be a good thing.
Wisconsin GOP Governor’s Hands Slapped Again
This time by a Wisconsin judge who ordered Scott Walker to call special elections that should have been held but weren’t for fear the blue wave would wash over Wisconsin.